If you’re an introvert you know exactly what I’m talking about when I say I was scared to go to church. Or maybe you don’t. For example sake let’s say you do.
You know that feeling that your throat may close or your knees make break right underneath you.
I had that feeling every single weekend cross that out. Every time I thought about going to church.
I heard all the sayings.
Do it scared
Do it anyway
Just go and it will be fine
They’re Christians how bad can it be
God is with you
Yeah. No. None of those worked. What worked. For me was “Mom when are we going back to church?”
Yes that’s right. My then 5 1/2 year old was caught by the Lord and there was no letting him go. Which in ironic being that when I was praying to becoming pregnant I prayed “Lord give me a child and I will give him back to you…”
Just like Hannah did in the Bible.
What that meant and means I didn’t and still don’t know. But I have a feeling that his heart is being prepared as we speak.
My now 7 year old knows his mama is very introverted and tends to be perfect/ all or nothing. Him keeping track of the day of the week or the fact that we have or haven’t went to church is my saving grace. In this season, I need him to be the spring board that pushes me off the cliff and actually goes to church.
Now let me clarify it’s not that I don’t have a relationship with God, pray, or worship… Even when church is skipped those things can still happen.
So as I sit here on a Wednesday night and type this post on my phone I won’t say it’s been all lollipops and gum drops. Hello it’s the walk. But each week we put one foot in front of the other.
I’m thankful for this time to reflect and I hope you grabbed a nugget of value from this post. Why I have this time? I chose to drive to church. Because my son LOVES Wednesday night. However my small group must have cancelled and I missed the email or something!
So giving him a few minutes to be with his Wednesday night big group is the least I can do.
I want to hear from you. Do you relate with social anxiety? Has it effected your faith walk??